Saturday, May 16, 2009


To Be Liked

Al Davis and I were talking about something in the hallway just outside the lockerroom in our converted elementary school headquarters in El Segundo, California back in 1985. This would turn out to be my last professional football season. I don't recall the subject of our brief and somewhat rare conversation, but it was probably on the subject of the quality of my play, what my role would be in the game the upcoming weekend, or my feedback on the status of our defensive line play. Al stopped the dialogue by looking directly into my eyes and saying, "It's important for you to be liked, isn't it?"

His question nailed me to the wall, like a bug on a pin. I don't recall what I replied. Probably something like, "I suppose so". I am reminded of his question more and more as I've gained more responsibility as a leader and manager of people. When I must make a decision or when I feel the need to represent a viewpoint, just how important is it for the parties involved to like me? When I'm taking part in a community meeting with legislators or city council members, is it more important that I fit into the rhetoric and not risk alienating a leader, or should I more passionately represent the urgency and relevance of young peoples' needs? Is it more important to walk carefully around the fragile ego of one of my staff, or push this person to be the best they can be?

Respect is important. Vision is important. Passion is important. Street relevance is important. Integrity is important.

Being liked?