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It was amazing how successful Tom Landry was as a coach. In January 1978 we won a Superbowl together, and the next year we were the runner up. Fast forward 6 years, and much water under the bridge, Al Davis and we won big (January 1984 Superbowl victory). Their philosophies were so different, yet they were both winners. Both philosophies work, but which fits best for an individual or at a point in an individual's life?

Tom's system was his priority. He found obscure young players and molded them to fit his system. His system did not change. It was up to the player to change. This can feel pretty restricting after a while.

My first day at the Raiders facility in El Segundo, in the middle of practice, I look to my side and there stands Al Davis. He asked me if I had any thoughts on how the Raider's defense could improve. What? Mr. Hall of Fame player and coach was asking me? Is this a trick? A set-up? No. While on most teams coaches do not ask players questions, everytime we left the field during a Raiders game the coaches would be asking, "What are you feeling out there? What will work? What should we know?" They didn't always implement our reply, but the respect that I felt changed me and my motivation. To this day I would assault a moving Mack truck for Al Davis.

While our society is most often telling our kids what to do, it's the truly effective street leader...the Crip or Blood gang leader...who really listens to that young boy on the block.

The pager on my hip buzzes late at night and the read out includes a phone number and 911. He's in a phone booth near Alameda and the Feds. He's so tired. He's so alone. He so wants, needs to end his pain. He answers yes, he is thinking of killing himself. He answers yes, he has a gun with him in the booth. Am I all the way present at this moment? Can I 100% focus on him? Can I help him tell me why he's so tired...and really hear him? Can I find the right question that will help him identify some hope? Could I ever find a more significant opportunity in life to truly listen? I so don't want him to be in pain, but thank you for allowing me this gift...an opportunity for true significance.

It's the hardest skill I've ever tried to master. Distraction. Impatience. Emotionally drained. My own issues.

The most powerful tool of life...of relationship...of management...of leadership.

Listen.